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Chances are, if you’re reading this, there is something about your family situation you’d like to change. In fact, you may have some serious concerns with your family life. Maybe there is too much fighting amongst your kids or you and your partner, or maybe you’re feeling like you’ve been too hard on your kids. Or maybe you are just plain tired of hearing yourself yell all of the time. I am willing to bet that given time with a close friend or family member, a good majority of the time you spend time talking with them will be about what’s not working in your family.

We all have things we’d like to change in our families. Sometimes these things seem outside our control. But did you know that within YOU is the power to change your family situation? You just need to know the steps to take to bring about the change you desire. Here I will give you five steps you can take right now that will create the real change you desire.

So, how do you go about creating the change you’d like to see in your family? You start by looking in the mirror. Why a mirror? What does your reflection have to do with getting your kids to stop fighting, for example? Because any change you desire starts with YOU.

If your concern is that your children fight too much, and you try to control the situation by punishing the one who “started it”, bribing them to stop, or any other measure that tries to impact the circumstances, you’re barking up the wrong tree, so to speak.

A way to look at this is to think about your family situation as if it is a movie playing out on a large screen. If you want that movie to change, going up to the screen and trying to manipulate it will not impact a change. To create a change on the screen, you’ve got to go to the little room at the back of the theatre and change the movie that’s playing in the projector. If you think about yourself as the projector and the movie as the result of your perception, thoughts, and beliefs, then you’ll need to change your perception, thoughts, and beliefs about the situation before you’ll see real change out there on the screen.

So, what can you do to change your inner movie so that it reflects what you want to see on the screen of your life? Here are five tips to get you started:

1) Become aware of your thoughts –

What do you spend your time thinking about? Do you spend more time focusing on what is going wrong or on what is going right? Focusing on what is not working perpetuates that which is not working. Raising your awareness of where your thoughts are is the first step in changing them.

2) Stop thinking about what is wrong and start thinking about what is right –

Once you are aware of what you are spending your time thinking about, you’ll want to catch yourself when you are thinking about what is not working. Change your focus from what is not working and consciously start looking for the things that are working. Once you find them, focus on them. By catching yourself and changing your thoughts to the positive, you’ve taken the next step toward bringing about positive change.

3) Watch your speech –

Do you spend time complaining to friends or family members about your concerns? Your speech is a very powerful influencer of your subconscious. And your subconscious can’t take a joke. Even making jokes about your kids’ fighting can perpetuate that situation. Don’t be roped into a negative conversation about the situation you want to change.

4)Affirm what you wish to create –

Create an affirmation directed at bringing about your desired change. For example, if you wish to see less fighting amongst your children, an affirmation such as this can help: “My children now work together beautifully and treat each other with love and respect.”

5) Spend time visualizing your desired situation –

Create a mental picture in your mind of the situation occurring in the way in which you desire it. For example, if you wish to create smooth relations between your children, you can visualize them spending time together in a harmonious, peaceful way.

Any time you wish a situation in your family to be different than it is, start with your own thoughts. By following these 5 steps, you’ll quickly get on the path to creating the family life of your dreams.