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By Jill Hope

Recently someone I had come to respect and trust let me down in what I considered to be a really big way. Initially I felt angry and couldn’t understand why this person didn’t follow through, and why the support was taken away.

I thought I had accepted this disappointment and moved on until I awoke in the middle of the night, once again feeling the anger of how this person that I trusted could let me down like this.

I laid awake thinking about all of the ways I could handle the situation, things I could say to this person, ways I could take action by having meetings with other people, even considering that I likely had a legal option to handle this if I chose to go to that extreme.

Then, it dawned on me that none of these so called actions I was dreaming up was feeling good to me. I felt that taking any of these actions would still have me feeling like I was coming from a place of weakness and anger, despite my “rightness” in doing any of these things.

I realized that I have more power than I think, but that the power would not be accessed by taking external actions, such as those I was conjuring up. The true power I had at my fingertips was in me, and the only way to truly impact the situation in an empowered way was to change from the inside….to change how I was being in relation this situation.

The truth of the matter is, we cannot change any circumstances around us by tinkering with the outer circumstances. We can only change our situations and circumstances by changing ourselves from within. This is where our true power is.

When we stop trying to manipulate the outer circumstances, we stop putting a bandaid on the situation, and instead, we get to the root cause of the issue so we can change it at its source.

So, what are the 5 steps you can take to access your true power source and take control of any situation so it can be changed authentically and in an empowered way?

1) Identify your core beliefs around the situation

Everything that happens to you happens because on some level, you have a belief that supports the situation, and that literally attracts it to you. I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but every time I work with parents to identify the true source of any problem they or their child is dealing with, we end up finding a false or limiting belief that has contributed to the situation.

Once you are able to identify the belief, you can change it and then your circumstances will change.

2) Forgive any past perceived “wrong-doing” and let go

When we perceive that someone has done something to us, or let us down, as in my case, it is easy to hang onto the anger, make the other person wrong, tell people how you were wronged, etc.

The truth is, hanging on to the pain and continuing to talk about it only perpetuates the situation and draws more similar situations to you. When you can forgive, and yes, even forget, you aren’t letting the other person off the hook. Instead, you are letting yourself off the hook and allowing the situation to transform or bringing a better experience into your reality.

Hanging onto a past hurt only hurts you. It doesn’t hurt the person who you deemed to have wronged you.

3) Decide what the ultimate result is that you really want

Think about what it is you truly want, regardless of the disappointment you have suffered, or how you think it needs to come to you. The universe works in truly miraculous ways, and if you can stay connected to your ultimate goal, your ideal end result, either the situation will transform, or something better than you could have ever conceived of will be able to come into your experience.

Know what it is that you want and let go of any ideas about how it can or can’t happen. Let the universe surprise you, and I guarantee you, it will.

4) Be aware of what you are saying and thinking at all times

We usually find it pretty easy to think of what we want. But if we then spend 23 of the next 24 hours in our day talking negatively about the situation, or about the person who disappointed you, or about how you are doubting that things can be fixed, you are spending more time focusing on things you don’t want.

When you spend more than 50% of your time thinking or talking about all the things you don’t like or don’t want, you can’t possibly get what you do want, and so the situation has no chance to change.

Catch yourself in the act of thinking and speaking negatively, and only focus on the end result. The more you can do this, the easier it will get.

5) Spend time every day in gratitude for all that you do have in you life right now

You can’t hold negative feelings or feelings of lack when you are feeling love and gratitude. The more you can tap into what is going right for you right now, the more you will be in a place of receptivity and acceptance so that you can receive what it is that you truly want.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can truly work wonders in terms of your ability to attract daily miracles into your life.

You can change negative circumstances in your life, but not by trying to change things from the outside. When you tap into yourself, you will access your true power. It is from this place that you can transform your situation in an empowered, authentic way.

If you want to learn specifically how you and your daughter can be more empowered in your lives, take authentic control of your circumstances, and more specifically integrate each of these steps into your daily routine, you may want to consider registering for my Powerful Girl Within Program. You can learn more about this transformational program and register here: